Review | "Jupiter Ascending" is a Beautiful Disaster in Space




TIA HERE with something a little different. You're probably wondering, why is she reviewing this movie that came out months ago? Well, this is a review I happened to write for my "Writing and Editing for Online Magazines" class that I took last semester. I didn't want my blog posts for that class to go to waste, so I figured: What better place to put them than here? I hope you enjoy these upcoming short posts, which are a bit sassier in tone (since they were written for a fictional magazine for my class), while I am currently finishing up my internships and preparing for my penultimate semester at Cornell.

Imagine a 12-year-old who loves TwilightStar Wars, and Channing Tatum—oh, and she has $176 million to make an original sci-fi blockbuster. While the Wachowskis are much more experienced storytellers than the average tween, their latest film, Jupiter Ascending, displays the imagination of a middle schooler determined to write her first, and likely only, fantasy novel. That said, I loved it.

The Matrix creators' latest work is an extravagant mess of cliches—a Cinderella story set in a galaxy far, far away—and yet, it is undeniably fun, with a balance of opulence, action, and drama that makes it thoroughly entertaining.

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) thinks she's just a normal girl until she meets Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), a bionic werewolf-fallen-angel-soldier (yep—that's real), who tells her she is actually intergalactic royalty. Now considered queen of several planets, including Earth, Jupiter finds herself having to navigate the dangerous politics of her three "children," all the while struggling with her feelings for Caine.



Other cast members in this delightful movie include Academy Award winner Eddie Redmayne as a creepy momma's boy who commands a lizard army. No, this is not the film he won the Oscar for.

What can I say? The visuals are stunning, the plot intriguing, the actors committed (despite everything). Sure, you may find yourself laughing at parts that aren't meant to be funny, but I guarantee you'll still become embarrassingly engrossed in this silly yet totally earnest story, wishing the hover shoes, costumes, and promise of eternal life were real.


Enjoy the trailer above!

For more, check out Tia's new blog!

Much love,

T.